OK, I’m calling it. I have a new favourite vegetarian burger. I thought nothing could beat a vegetarian patty made with minced mushroom, but Kustom Burgers have taken it up a notch or seven.

It was Sunday evening. I was exhausted after having gone on a 32km training run in preparation for the Melbourne Marathon, my legs could no longer move, and all I wanted was a burger. And so it was decided, burgers for dinner. Given how tired I was, we decided to go somewhere close, and so we decided on Kustom Burgers.

I had seen Kustom Burgers on a few ‘Melbourne’s Best Burgers’ lists, so I figured they would be worth trying. Their menu showed that they had a vegetarian option, so it was all systems go, and off we went to satisfy my burger craving.

Kustom Burgers is a smallish shop on High Street in Northcote. Quite strangely, a large section of the shop is taken up by a parked pick up truck with a race track in the tray. Whilst it’s pretty cool, I’m not sure whether it’s worth sacrificing so much seating space for it, especially when tables and chairs are already at a minimum. It’s obvious that the owner has a passion for cars, with all the décor relating to the automotive theme.

We took a seat at the counter, overlooking the kitchen, so we had a clear view of the chefs at work. The speed and efficiency at which they worked was impressive. The orders were coming in at a constant rate, and the kitchen remained calm and in order. It wasn’t long before our burgers arrived, and given how starving we were, we really couldn’t wait to dig in.

Whilst there was only one vegetarian option on the menu. It was bloody amazing. Entitled the Combi Southern Fried Mushroom Burger, it was exactly as described. Firstly let’s start with the mushroom. I love mushrooms and a deep fried mushroom only makes it better, but when it is coated and crumbed with herbs and spices it takes it to a whole new level. Think southern fried chicken, but in mushroom form. This was then topped with cheese, jalapeños, chipotle mayo and a slaw, and all together, it was without doubt the best burger I’ve had. A big call I know, but definitely deserved.

The other half had the FJ Holden Aussie Burger. Like all good things Aussie, the burger had an egg, beetroot and a generous slather of tomato sauce. Unlike the Americans who cook everything to charcoal, the burger was cooked medium, and the usual suspects of cheese, onion, tomato and lettuce completed the burger. The other half was impressed.

The only slight let down was the chips. Whilst they were inoffensive (deep fried potato is rarely offensive), they were just generic McCains fries. I knew this because I could see the bags being emptied, and it was a little disappointing. I would have definitely preferred hand cut chips, with rosemary salt.

Still, you can’t have everything, and given how good the burger was, I’m willing to forgive their downfall on the chips. Will I be back? If they serve me another spicy crumbed deep fried mushroom I definitely will be!

On Saturday, I rode for 12 km, ran for 5km at parkrun, and then walked for 3.5 km (and then back for 3.5km) to get burgers for dinner. Given all the exercise, the burgers, fries, milkshake and frozen custard (more on that later) were completely guilt free. People often ask me why I do crazy things like run 5 times a week. The answer is so I can eat ridiculous amounts of food. I’m not willing to eat any less, so the only option is to exercise more.

Melbourne is most definitely on a burger craze. Burger joints are popping up all over the place and competition is rife. This is a good thing if you are a burger lover like I am. A few months ago, Royal Stacks opened up its first branch in the CBD, and it wasn’t long before their second store opened up in Brunswick.

We got to Royal Stacks at about 6:30pm on a Saturday evening. It was peak time for a restaurant, so it was no surprise that there was a line outside, and we were told that there would be a twenty minute wait for a table. We decided that waiting was not an issue, and before we realised it, we were called inside to sit at a communal table. For those that didn’t want to wait, there was a takeaway option, which was also doing a roaring trade.

When we got inside, there seemed to be lots of empty tables, so it seemed that they were a bit haphazard in getting people seated efficiently. There was also not table service, so you had to make sure you had someone at the table minding your spot whilst the second person was lining up at the counter placing the order. Not a big issue, unless your spot gets stolen, which was happening a fair bit.

The other half was responsible for the ordering, and he did good. He got the Double Stack for him, and the Queen Bee for me.

Royal Stacks only offers one form of protein for their burgers, beef, with the exception of the Queen Bee which is made with a home made chickpea patty. The Queen Bee also had the basic salads of lettuce and tomato, American cheddar, a special burger sauce which tasted suspiciously like it was based on tartare sauce and one of my favourite ingredients – pickles. I felt the bun was a little too sweet for my liking, I prefer a more bready bun, rather than the sweet brioche bun, but that’s just me. What I really enjoyed was the patty and the way the sauce complemented it, and of course I loved the pickles. Over all it was a good burger, but not amazing.

The other half had a similar opinion of his Double Stack. He commented that everything was done well, but there was no wow factor.

We also got some cheesy fries to share. These were actually my least favourite item. When I order chips, I want thickly cut chips that are crunchy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. The Royal Stacks chips were French fries, McDonalds style, thin and with very little fluffiness. Being so thin, it also meant that they became limp very quickly. The cheese sauce was also nothing to write home about, almost replicating plastic cheese.

But from this part of the meal it was all uphill. First off, the salted caramel milkshake. YUM. The saltiness was perfectly balanced with the sweet caramel, and it was amazing. I don’t usually get drinks, but this milkshake was definitely worth it.

Then, as we were finishing off our meals, a waitress came and told us that they would like to offer us their signature frozen custard to try. I decided to try the pistachio flavour, and the other half went for another round of salted caramel. Both flavours were amazing. The salted caramel frozen custard was also the basis of our previous milkshake, so needless to say, it was perfect, but the pistachio flavour was also a winner. I struggled to tell the difference between frozen custard and ice cream, but regardless, it was smooth and creamy and a great way to end the meal.

Royal Stacks has definitely made a big impact in Melbourne after being open for a short time and the long lines outside the premises are testament to this. Was I impressed? I wasn’t so impressed with the burgers, but I will definitely be back for some more frozen custard, that’s what it was all about for me!

Hipster. Northcote. The two words almost go hand in hand. And together with the hipster in Northcote is the café that they go to have breakfast at. It should have exposed wood beams, there might be concrete floors, the café should preferably be in an old converted factory or warehouse, and the crockery should be mismatched. But most importantly, the coffee has to be good and the food needs to be creative.  The Herbert Café is just what the hipster is Northcote is looking for.

Located just next to the Northcote train station, on Herbert St (hence the name!) the café is located just off the busy High St strip. From the outset, the building really does look like a rundown or abandoned old factory, but as you step inside, the atmosphere changes. The café is very small, and there are lots of little timber tables and timber stools for the patrons. We found ourselves a table, and little clipboards with the menus were handed to us.

We started with our drinks order. The Herbert serves Padre coffee which is what the other half chose, and I got excited seeing Prana Chai on the menu and had to order myself a pot. The drinks arrived quickly and when they arrived at our table, they took up almost all the space! We had to make sure we finished them before the food arrived!

The menu didn’t have my usual option of fritters, so instead I chose to go with a breakfast burger. It had a big juicy portabello mushroom which was well flavoured with garlic as the patty, and also had roast peaches, caramelised onion, avocado, and was served on a wholegrain brioche bun. The burger was very delicious. I had never had roast peaches before, but the sweetness of them and the caramelised onion worked beautifully with the garlicky flavour of the mushroom. If there was to be any criticism, it would be that the burger was pretty tricky to eat. The mushroom kept on sliding out, and so I decided to eat it as a deconstructed burger with a knife and fork. Perhaps that’s how hipsters eat their burgers.

The other half also went for a very unusual choice from the menu, Welsh Rarebit. He had never tasted it before, and had very little idea of what to expect, but when the dish arrived, and he tasted it, he said it was one of the most amazing breakfasts he had tasted. For those that didn’t know what Welsh Rarebit was, like us, it is basically a pimped up cheese toastie. Now I love a cheese toastie, but when pimped up, it goes to a new level. With red onion, Worcestershire sauce and some really good cheese, this was one good toastie. It was the most unique combination of flavour, unlike anything we had ever tasted.

The Herbert Café was certainly a good find. Next time, perhaps we will have to ride our fixies there, just to get into the spirit.

Grand Trailer Park Taverna had been on my wishlist for a while. We had tried on a previous occasion to go there for a quick dinner before an evening show, but unfortunately it had been too full to get a seat and we weren’t prepared to wait. This time, having learnt our lesson, we arrived nice and early before we went to see Cats The Musical.

The restaurant is located at the top of some dimly lit stairs, a complete contrast to the surroundings outside. It is actually set up like a trailer park! There are camper vans that form part of the décor, and an American diner style set up to capture the theme.

The menu focuses on burgers with names that pay homage to Hollywood. There are a large range of beef burgers and also the token vegetarian burger.

Naturally I chose the vegetarian burger, the Cynthia Benson, which had the most unique patty. The description told me it would be a mushroom patty, which I assumed would be a grilled Portobello mushroom but I was totally wrong. It was infact a patty that was made with minced mushroom (instead of minced meat) which was crumbed and fried. It was a concept I had never thought of, but it was amazing. There was also American cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, special sauce and American mustard all on a brioche bun. I am not usually a fan of the brioche bun, but on this occasion it worked well. This was definitely one of the best vego burgers I have had.

The other half decided to have the Atomic burger. This burger contained a beef patty with American cheddar cheese, caramelised onion, chilli cheese kransky, streaky bacon, BBQ sauce, cayenne truffle mayonnaise on a brioche bun. It was only until he was about half way through the burger that he realised that there was no salad element to his burger! No lettuce or tomato! He wasn’t sure if this would make the burger better or not, but he too deemed his burger one of the best he had ever had.

We also had some chips to share, beer battered, thickly cut chips that were crunchy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. Yum.

Trailer park also has a section on its menu dedicated to milkshakes, spiked milkshakes to be specific. You can have a Kinder Surprise, Nutella and Frangelico milkshake, or a crème brulee, vanilla, brandy and toffee top milkshake just to name a few! We decided it was a bit early in the week to be having such an indulgent drink and instead opted for the virgin version of the crème brulee milkshake. It was still delicious, and such a treat! There is also a bar with rotating beers on tap, so you can have traditional alcohol too.

Grand Trailer Park Taverna certainly lived up to the hype I had heard about. I had gone in with pretty high expectations and they were delivered upon. Melbourne has well and truly caught on to the burger craze, and Grand Trailer Park Taverna is a worthy member of the scene.

Last year I was stupid enough to try and run a half marathon with no training. Yes, that’s right, NO training, not even a little 5km run within weeks of the big event. Amazingly, I managed to run all the way till 17km, and it was only then that my body gave up and I had to walk the rest. The worst part was the recovery though. I literally couldn’t move the next day, and it took me a good ten minutes to simply get out of bed.

This year I decided to do it all again, but with the difference being that I was going to train properly. I’m a very stubborn person, and when I set my mind to a goal, I give it 110%. This meant that for 12 weeks leading up to the race, I was training 6 days a week, in the morning before I went to work. It sounds crazy, but it very quickly became a habit, and on the few occasions where I skipped a morning run because I was sick, I really missed it. I never thought I’d become one of those people that were addicted to exercise, but by some strange phenomenon I think I have.

Anyway, all the hard work did pay off. I ran my half marathon last week, and I ran it comfortably. For me it was not about the time (which was nothing spectacular), but it was about finishing the race, finishing it well and enjoying it. There were so many things along the 21.1km run that really put a smile on my face. To the parkrun volunteer standing on St Kilda Rd yelling out words on encouragement, thankyou. Parkrun has become an integral part of my Saturday mornings, and everything associated with it makes me smile, so it was heartening to see a parkrun fluoro vest whilst I was trying to run four and a bit parkruns.

To the band that was singing Prince’s Raspberry Beret as we ran onto Albert Park Lake, thankyou. That song is one of my favourites, and despite huffing and puffing somewhat, I still managed to sing a few lines to myself as I was running.

To Melissa, who was standing on St Kilda Rd as I came back up from Fitzroy St, thankyou. It was so exciting so see you standing on the median strip, cheering everyone on, and hearing a ‘GO MONICA!!’ as I ran past! It certainly put a spring in my step, and a noticeable increase in my pace which can my seen on my Garmin stats.

But I don’t think anything excited me more than being able to run onto the MCG. I was so glad that I had something left in the tank because I absolutely ran my heart out as I entered Melbourne’s great sporting cauldron. I sprinted past people, I soaked in the atmosphere, and as an Indian, all I could think about was the fact that I was competing on the same turf that Sachin Tendulkar had competed on. It was just a little bit special.

Of course, once the half marathon was over, my stomach demanded some attention and I was desperate for food. I came home, devoured a massive bowl of risotto, ate half a pizza, and yet I was still starving. Greasy, salty foods are what I always crave after a run, so I decided that I could only be sated if I could get my hands on a burger and chips.  I wanted somewhere reasonably local, because I really was too tired to trek anywhere too far, but I wanted something good. In recent weeks my Instagram feed has been full of burgers from YOMG in Glen Waverley, so this is where we decided to go.

7pm in Glen Waverley and the place was pumping. It still amuses me to think that Glen Waverley is now a place where people come to hang out, and you have to struggle to find parking! When I was at high school, it was just another suburb, nothing special, and you definitely wouldn't plan a big night out there. How times change!

There was a line at YOMG and there was someone at the front writing names down on a waiting list. We were told there would be a ten minute wait for a table, and that if we wanted we could order right then and there, and by the time our food was ready, there would probably we a table ready too. This sounded like a good plan to us.

The menu is simple. YOMG were originally focused on frozen yogurt (hence the name), but the Glen Waverley branch has broadened its offerings to include burgers, fries and milkshakes. There are also chicken wings but this was of no interest to me!  There were two vegetarian burgers on the menu, the Hipster and the Mr. Potato Head. The Hipster was a mushroom burger, and I had been having a lot of mushroom burgers recently, so I opted for Mr. Potato Head. The other half went for one of the specials, which was a chicken burger with Southern fried chicken. We also chose some loaded fries, namely the Fetta Fetish. After all, the only way to improve deep fried potato is to serve it with cheese. The other half also decided that running 21.1k deserved a reward in the form of a milkshake so upon recommendation from one of the staff he ordered a salted peanut butter caramel milkshake. It sounded so indulgent!

As promised, our table was ready in about ten minutes, and almost as soon as we sat down, our food was ready too. The burgers and fries are served in cardboard containers on a tray which makes for excellent food porn photography. You only have to follow the #YoMyGoodness hashtag on Instagram to see how much fun people are having!

After our first bite, it was clear that YOMG knew their burgers. They were exactly what we wanted in a burger. This was no burger trying to disguise itself as healthy. These burgers weren’t hiding the fact that they were oily and fatty, but they were also not skimping on taste and flavour either. The Mr. Potato Head burger was definitely the right choice. To the person who thought of substituting a vegetable patty for a couple of potato cakes, you should be awarded a medal of some sort. It was genius. Add some cheese, some slaw, pickles, mayo, sauce and a fried egg, this burger was a heaven of sorts. It was exactly what my body was craving and I was a happy diner.

The other half was also very content with his burger. I don’t even remember exactly what was in it, but I know there was fried chicken and bacon. Apparently these ingredients are the key to a man’s heart.

I had high hopes for the loaded fries. There was a big container of chips, generously topped with fetta, dukkha, oregano, spring onion and a squeeze of lemon. It sounded amazing, but unfortunately I think it was a little too much. Loaded fries run the risk of becoming soggy too quickly, and this was the case here. It was also extremely heavy, and so we struggled to finish it. I think if would want fetta on your fries, Jimmy Grants does a better version. It is much more restrained, but it means that nothing gets soggy, and the subtle hint of fetta is more than sufficient.

The milkshake however was delicious. Sweet, with the hint of saltiness to bring out the flavour, which was truly indulgent. I am not a big peanut butter fan, but this was good.

When we finished our meal and left, there was still a queue of people waiting to order and get a seat. This was indicative of how good YOMG is. It’s not the healthiest meal, but that is the least of my concerns when I’ve just run a half marathon! It is however super yummy, and a brilliant option when you want a cheat meal.

The burger craze has well and truly taken Melbourne by storm. All over the internet there are lists being published with the best burgers in town, and almost always Tuckshop Takeaway features on these lists.  It was one Saturday, when we were super hungry after a parkrun, that we decided it was about time that we went to find out what all the hype was about.

Located on the corner of Hawthorn and Glen Eira Rds in Caulfield, Tuck Shop Takeaway is a tiny little corner shop, reminiscent of an old school canteen. It is decked out with all the typical features of a primary school, including a drinking fountain and a door apparently leading to the Principal’s office which I didn’t venture through, because that’s for the naughty kids.

The premises is tiny, and as the name suggests is much more suited for takeaways, but we decided to buck the trend and eat in. We were there at about 3pm, and yet it was still packed and there was a line for the take away orders. This place was clearly popular. Our orders took about 15 minutes to arrive, and we had to push our way onto a table. Like the stereotypical school canteen, the apparent cool kids had hogged about seven seats between four of them, which was clearly rude given how busy the place was. I don’t think they were too impressed at having two of their unused seats taken away from them, but tough.

The menu at the Tuckshop is... concise. It consists of two burgers, a handful of jaffles, chips and a few milkshakes. This didn’t phase me too much though, I’m all about quality over quantity. We ordered one of the burgers each and some chips to share. The other half also jumped on the Nutella craze and got a Nutella milkshake.

Obviously I got the veggie burger, very maturely named the Veggie Wedgie. This was a very unique veggie patty with beetroot, lentils and brown rice. I was quite impressed with this component of the burger. These were flavours I hadn’t experienced together before and they worked together well. The rice and lentils provided the right texture, and the beetroot added an element of sweetness without being too overpowering.  Unfortunately none of the other ingredients offered anything spectacular. There was lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, American cheese and special Tuckshop sauce (which as far as I could tell was just mayo and tomato sauce mixed together). The inclusion of the pickles was nice as these are rarely on veggie burgers, but nothing else really shone. The bun was pretty good, but again, nothing outstanding.

The other half got the other burger on the menu, the Minor burger. The patty here was a beef patty that was cooked pink in the middle. As a vegetarian this freaks me out a bit, but I’ve been told that this is how it tastes best.  All the other ingredients of the Minor was the same as the Veggie Wedgie. Unfortunately the other half wasn’t very impressed with his burger either. He went as far as to say it was just above a McDonalds burger in taste. Disappointing really.

The chips on the other hand were quite good. Boasting of being hand cut and triple cooked, they really were a step up on regular chips. They were cooked to a crisp but still soft inside.

Overall, our experience at Tuckshop Takeaway was a little underwhelming. Having read so many good things on the interwebs, perhaps I had set my expectations too high, but given the great burgers that are available these days, I don’t think I was out of my rights to do this. Would I go back? Probably not. After all, Grill’d does amazing burgers and chips, and you don’t usually have to fight for a spot at a table.

So late one sunny morning, after we had just decided to run 15km through the Citylink tunnel and the Bolte Bridge (Run For The Kids of course!), my body told me that I urgently needed to fill it with food, preferably greasy junk food. So off we went home to have a shower, because no one appreciates a couple of wannabe runners that are all sweaty and stinky, and decided to finally start tackling the Herald Sun Melbourne's best burger list.

First on the list, and closest to home was Fat Bob, in Moorabbin. Fat Bob was a little bit tricky to find whilst driving down Cochranes Rd, and in the end we decided to park the car and try and find it on foot.

We came across a little laneway, where we were greeted by a placard of a big fat man (Bob, I presume) holding a burger, and also quite a few American muscle cars parked out the front. We were definitely in for an American diner experience! We walked down the alley which was filled with tables and hungry diners, and entered the restaurant through some big doors.

Once inside, we were in a space that was engulfed by neon lights, and in line with the names of the burgers, various American automotive paraphernalia. We were quickly seated, given menus and instructed to order at the bar.

All good American diners have spiders, and the other half couldn't go past this. Apparently he hadn't had a coke spider in fifteen years, and this one was every bit as good as he remembered.

The Herald Sun article had recommended the Jackie O burger (which the other half had), and zucchini fries. These were a little steep, at $8 for a small cup, but boy where they delicious! The zucchinis were cut into small pieces, coated in batter, deep fried and become crunchy bits of heaven. I had never thought of deep frying zucchini, but then when we thought about it, eggplant chips are not uncommon, and the texture is somewhat similar.

There was one vegetarian burger on the menu called the Goodrich, so obviously this is what I went for! After a fairly long wait, which was reasonably justified given how busy they were, my burger arrived. The burgers come wrapped in foil, which is great for burger integrity, heat retention and to minimise mess. Who would have thought a humble piece of foil could serve so many purposes!

The Goodrich contained portebello mushrooms, gooey Swiss cheese, carmelised onion, beetroot (because all brilliant burgers have beetroot!), and lettuce and tomato. The mushroom was cooked beautifully, and there was mushroom juice dripping everywhere whilst I tried to eat it! As we jokingly commented, no one ever looks hot trying to eat a burger!

For me the one downfall of the burger was the bread. The roll is a milk bun style, and it had too much sugar for my liking. Pair this with the sweetness of the beetroot and the caramelised onion and it was a little too sweet. Nevertheless, all the other elements were delicious, and you could really taste the quality of the ingredients.

All in all, it was definitely a successful start to the burger adventures!